Burn City

Ok I have been sitting on this story for weeks because I wanted it to play out to the end before I let you all know.  Now because there are people at work who may have discovered this site I will change the names of some of the participants and say that this may or may not be true (even though its so true and I’m changing the first letter of their names with the letter B).

Ok, so a new girl starts working with us and almost immediately there is a turmoil.  The biggest participants in this turmoil are Bordan and Bliff.  Both Bordan and Bliff think the new girl is so hot.  Well one day Bordan tells me that he is sure she wants to have sex with him…. for arguments sake we will call her Bessica.  Anyways Bordon goes on and on about how she is 29 and he is 18 and she wants him so bad.  I take it upon myself to mess with him, because that’s really what I do best.

Bordan “Dude she totally wants me”

Me “No way”

Bordan “Did you hear how she said my name as she was leaving? she totally wants me”

Me “Listen man, I’ve heard a thing or 2 and I can tell you for a fact that she doesn’t want you”

Bordan “Why? did she say something about me?!”

Me “I cant in good conscience repeat it.”

Anyways this goes on and on and just to mess with him I keep telling him that I’ve heard something and that she would never touch him.  Post comes up to me and asks me what I was talking to Bordan about. I tell him that I’m messing with him and how I am messing with him.  20 mins later Post comes up to me and says “Bordan told me that girl wants him so I told him “I’ve heard otherwise”"  Post if you ever read this xoxo to you sir, good form.

A couple days later I find out that Bessica is a lesbian and has been with the same woman for 6 years…. OH MY GOD JACKPOT!!!

Bliff “Dude Bessica is hot”

Me “You can never and will never get her ever so don’t even try”

Bliff “Why do you think she likes you or something?”

Me “Nope”

Bliff “Does she have a boyfriend?”

Me “Nada sir”

Bliff “I bet my paycheck I can get her”

Me “Thats a very dumb bet but if you want I’ll happily give you 6 months to even kiss her, If you do, I will happily turn over my paycheck to you.”

Bliff “You have something up your sleeve don’t you?”

Me “Always”

Bliff “I don’t think I should make this bet.”

Me “The fact that you like her is payment enough”

Days pass and nothing comes from the information I have so I feel like its a good time to stir the pot.  I tell Bliff that there is no way that Bessica likes him cuz she is into Bordan.  I tell Bordan that there is no way Bessica likes him because she is into Bliff.  I happily needle both of them every single chance I get and pick on them for makeing no progress with Bessica.

Finally today Bordan comes into work and says to me “Did you know Bessica is a lesbian?!”

At this point I start laughing so hard and Bordan looks pissed.

Bordan “You did know didn’t you?!”

Me “Haha I sure did!”

I pinch Bordans Cheeks and tell him he looks so cute when he is disapointed.  I imeaditly go to Bliff and ask him if he still wants Bessica.  He says “I could totaly have her but I’m just not into her any more”

Me “You should ask her girlfriend if she is ok with that then”

Bliffs jaw drops and says “She is a lesbian?!” 

Me”What? I didn’t say nothing?”

Bliff “NO WAY”

Me “Keep your fucking mouth down”

Bliff “Seriously?”

I shrug and walk away laughing my ass off.

Good things come to those who wait.